Monday, 25 November 2013

A house VS a home

From a young age, I differentiated between a “house” and a “home”.

As a child the house was another battlefield, at certain points, I felt safer and more comfortable outside the house than I did inside.

I accepted the fact that I lacked what I viewed as essential, the feeling of safety.

A house is made by walls and a ceiling, a home was more psychological.

A home should provide people a place to rest, a shelter to allow us to be vulnerable, to take down our walls, to feel accepted, more or less understood, to feel loved.

Furthermore, a home is a place where you feel a sense of belonging and connection.

The world is already a battlefield, opposing our attempts to be. For our growth, mental and emotional stability, we require a room to heal and to rest and to take a break from fighting to recharge.

All we need at times is a home, which doesn’t have to be found between four walls, it could be found anywhere and with anyone.

Wednesday, 13 November 2013


My eyelids feel heavy
Waking up to the sounds of the city
I try to pull my body out of bed
But my body collapses instead
A new day has been marked by the sun
Things are easier said than done
So I close the curtain.
I fall back
Into black
To track
The source of the burden
An attempt to crack
The code
And give myself a slack
To note
But my thoughts are still uncertain
Stop it
Drop it

Tuesday, 5 November 2013

الى طرابلس

في عالم عم تقاوم بالأغاني والرسم على الجدران والكتابة والنقاشات والحب.
ان احرقوها، اشعلت بلهبها نوراً للآخرين
ان اسكتوها، تقود بجسمها رقصات للتعبير
ان كبّلوها، تغمض أعينها وتصبر
فهي حرّة بالعقل والخيال والارادة
العالم ينهار وهي حافية كي لا تنسى ملمس الأرض
العالم ينهار وهي تغسل وجهها بدموعها
كي ترتدي البسمة على وجهٍ طاهر
هذه عالم تسقط بوجهها المقاومة الدينية والطائفية والعنصرية والمتعصبة
عالم تقاوم يلا امتيازات وتمييز
مقاومة للجميع

No to giving birth

Why I would not want to give birth?
I love babies. I find them heartwarming, full of wonder and curiosity, innocent and manipulative at the same time.

Photo by Nath Halawani
There is something so awfully warm about baby's clothes.
It reminds me how fragile and vulnerable and innocent they are.
Here they are, started the discovery in a womb and they will carry it as they grow.

the formation of whatever they will be, a fanatic, a dedicated teacher, a parent, an aggressive destructive person, a rebel, a submissive person...
I also feel so motherly towards most of my friends, I have the urge to nurture them and protect them and be harsh when I have to be.
I have always wondered what it would feel like to have a life form in you and go through the process of pregnancy and child birth.
It is worth it.
To have that bond and feel the experience of pregnancy and giving birth, is not enough of a reason to bring a child to this world though.
My purpose in life is not to reproduce because my body has the capacity to do so.
Just because you can reproduce it doesn't mean you should, it is a privilege abused nowadays.
The path that I see for my life would be full of sacrifices and danger, that I will doubt that I will be able to live it with a child and be responsible for another life.
And in case I was able to maintain a balance and be able to provide a good environment to raise a child, I would rather adopt than give birth.
Why would I bring a child to this world when there are many homeless children or orphans, just so I would experience pregnancy?  
Let us not forget the overpopulation and another selfish reason that I wouldn’t stand to bring a child to such a cruel world.
Being a mother is not giving birth, neither carrying that child in your womb for months.
Why would I love a child less because I didn’t give birth to him/her?
I am repeating myself, but my opinion mainly stands as in:
I don’t think I have to be a mother just because I can.
I don’t think being a mother is related to giving birth.
I would rather be a mother to child already brought here without having a choice in it.
It takes a lot to raise a child, more than people are aware.
It is a huge responsibility, knowing you can fuck up someone’s life that you created, and watch them struggle through it.
You need financial stability (at least provide the necessity), ability to provide options for growth, emotional stability and a lot of time and patience and effort.
It is a full time forever type of commitment, without ownership or possession, the child is not yours yet you would sacrifice yourself for him/her.
 My opinion is not set in stone and I do not judge women or men who chose to have babies.