Thursday, 28 February 2013

You are my courage

Courageous sounds like a heavy word, and I don’t feel that I am worthy of such a quality when the only reason that I do what I do, is because I am suffocating.
I am suffocated by the fact that we need money to remain alive, by all the corruption and fanatics, by the fact that we don’t listen or try to understand, by the fact that we are turning in circles as zombies or miserable, struggling just to eat and breathe, and not truly living. How sad it is not to live? When this is the only life we have.
I am suffocated by my desire to shake people and show them how important we are, each one of us as an individual is a great force on his/her own, you can shake the world if you only do it!
I just want to hold my mother, hold every mother, every human being like my mother… hold them and take some of their burdens away.
Hold every person rejected and wronged and harmed…
I am suffocated by their struggles.
I am suffocated by the numbness of the people and their normalization of what appears to be absurd in this country.
You are better than this, why don’t you be better?
I don’t remember where exactly but under a bridge there is a quote that says, “Courage is contagious”. It is, because it is inspiring. It breaks a cycle.
As strong as I appear, I tremble in fear every night, reconsidering if what I am doing is as good as I think it is, if it will bring me closer to my ideal and have a positive effect on most people around me.
I tremble in fear thinking about the ones that I might let down by not being good enough, and they keep me strong and courageous.
The reason that I do what I do, is you, you are my courage.
I want to be the individual that could turn this world to a better place so you could see the beauty that I saw in this world.
So I could make this place worthy of your existence, before I die.